


The Truth Hurts

by Quarantinevibes



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders-centric, BAMF Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Broken Bones, Caring Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Caring Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Caring Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit Sanders Angst, Delirious Logan Sanders, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Injured Logan Sanders, Injury, Light Angst, Mentions of Anxiety Attack, Orb Deceit, Patton is smarter than we give him credit for, Set before POF, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, That tag will make sense I promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-05-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 9,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23805586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quarantinevibes/pseuds/Quarantinevibes
Summary: Deceit gets tired of everyone ignoring him and decides to make it so Thomas can’t tell a lie anymore by locking up his true form. However, things go wrong rather quickly and it’s up to Virgil and Logan to retrieve his real body before it’s too late.Completed!
Comments: 201
Kudos: 301





	1. No Filter

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my second fic on AO3, hope you enjoy!! The story has been mostly planned, so there will be consistent updates :)

Virgil liked being accepted by the other sides, he really did. Patton bustling around to make them dinner, Logan thoughtfully remembering to put an extra pot of coffee on for him, even Roman letting him pick which film they watched on movie night occasionally.

Yes, it was nice to be accepted. Except.

Except _maybe_ he kind of missed not being dragged out of his room at 9 AM on a Saturday.

Virgil popped into the common room. Thomas was pacing in the center and both Roman and Patton were already there. Logan rose up a little bit after him, his glasses slightly askew and holding what looked like grinded coffee beans in hot water in a cup. Had Logan gotten the summons and decided to skip the filter step?

Virgil groaned. “Thomas, there better be a very good reason as to why I am awake before noon on a Saturday.”

Roman whipped around to face him and put a hand on his chest, “There _IS_ a very good reason. Show them Thomas!”

Thomas nodded at him and put a foot out in front of himself dramatically and placed his hands at his sides. Virgil recognized the posture. Thomas had a play that he was performing in tonight and that was how he was meant to appear on stage for the first time before he said the line, “Hark, I see the sparrows flying overhead!”

“Hark!” Thomas started, his voice strong with resolve, “I see the-the,” his arms fell to his sides miserably, “the lampshade in the corner,” he finished with a mutter.

Virgil squinted. That wasn’t the line and when Virgil told Thomas this, he threw up his hands.

“I know that!” Thomas said and ran a hand through his hair, “I don’t know why I can’t say my line!”

“We’ve been going over this for _hours_ ,” Roman wailed

“Well try your next line!” Virgil said and waved his hands, trying to mask his growing anxiety. If Thomas messed up his first line, then who would bother to hire him again? Virgil waited for Thomas to tell him that the sparrows were going to warn the local fiddler (Virgil didn’t really understand the plot of this play, but he didn’t want to ask).

“The sparrows are-” Thomas started and opened and closed his mouth, vibrating with effort, “a family of small passerine birds.”

“What,” Virgil said, too bewildered to even swear.

“I mean he’s not wrong,” said Logan, seemingly content with the bird fact.

“That’s not exactly the point, Logan!” Virgil screeched.

“Yeah!” followed Roman, “Who cares about birds?”

“I care about birds.” Logan said.

“I’ll give you the bird!”

“Now kiddos, I’m sure we can all calm down and-” Patton started, but couldn’t be heard over the other two’s bickering. Virgil couldn’t believe that _this_ was what they were arguing about and joined in the quarrel, trying to focus them on the more important issue. Everyone’s voices were overlapping and Thomas had taken to pacing back and forth, repeating “the sparrows, the sparrows.”

Suddenly, a sinister music began to play in the corner. They all stopped and turned.

“I’m sure you’re all wondering what is happening! Who could be the orchestrator of all this chaos?”

In a spot just to the right of Patton, a white orb the size of a soccer ball was floating and cackling obnoxiously, its voice high pitched and squeaky. The white sphere had two large ovals that almost looked like eyes. The orb did a loop-to-loop in the air and landed in front of Virgil’s nose, its face (if you could call it that) turned up in what seemed to be pride.

“That’s right! Twas none other than I, Deceit! Come to yet again teach you a lesson on the importance of self-preservation. Well? How are you all? Scared? Confused? _Trembling_ in your sorry little outfits?”

Virgil blinked at the orb in front of him and put up his hand.

“What’s this?” said the sphere, eyes (?) turned up in glee, “cowering away are you?”

Virgil swatted the sphere across the room.

It flew in a strong arc and knocked against the far wall before bouncing along the couch cushions.

“Five points!” Virgil exclaimed with a smirk.

The sphere now known as Deceit, shook himself, his eye-ovals quickly turned to lines and then back into ovals as if imitating a blink. He then shot back to right in front of Virgil’s face, so close that Virgil felt himself go cross-eyed.

“How dare you toss me?! I am not some common basketball! I AM DE-”

But he didn’t get to finish because Roman seized the moment to bat him across the room again, this time he hit a picture frame and landed in the trashcan.

“Ten points!” yelled Roman and Virgil was full on grinning now.

“Plus five for rebound.”

“Nice!”

Thomas was watching the display in a daze and tilted his head, a universal sign for confusion. Patton noticed and sighed, he walked over to the trashcan and picked up orb-Deceit. There was a banana peel that was comically crowned on his head and Patton quickly took it off.

“Now that’s quite enough,” he started, “it seems that Deceit here knows what’s going on so let’s just hear him out ok?” Orb-Deceit turned to Patton, his oval eyes had gone a little rounder and if he wasn’t just a circle with dots for eyes, Virgil would describe the expression as grateful.

Logan shook his head, “We can’t trust him.”

“I didn’t say we could,” said Patton, “but he has information we don’t. Plus look at him!” Patton held him out like a cat, “He’s so cute!”

Orb-Deceit bristled at that, “I am _not_ cute!” he said, his voice squeaking at the end and both Thomas and Patton ‘awed.’

“No!” he squeaked again, “Do not aw! I am Deceit, master of lies! Ruler of MMPHH-”

Whatever orb-Deceit was going to say got cut off by Patton hugging him close with a squeal. Orb-Deceit was saying something that sounded like “unhand me!” and Patton let go. He then flew to the other corner of the room, far away from Patton, eyes in a distrusting squint.

Virgil sighed.

“Alright, decapitated Baymax knock-off. Tell us what you did so we can undo it.”

Orb-Deceit flew in a small circle and was back to looking pleased with himself. Well, as pleased as he could look. He sent a pointed look at Thomas.

“You see, I grew tired of being ignored. Every day you tell a lie, something as small as ‘I’m doing good’ or ‘it’s cool if we don’t have pizza again’. And yet! You ignore me! Push me to the back of your brain like some kind of lesser function. Well today-” orb-Deceit bobbed up and down and it would have been cute if Virgil didn’t want to punch him in the face, “you’ll see just how important I really am!”

Virgil gritted his teeth. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Orb-Deceit turned his eyes up in delight. “I took away Thomas’s ability to lie! Locked my true form away in the Imagination and gave away the key!”

Logan blinked. “You took away his ability to lie?”

“That’s right, calculator watch!” he said gleefully and turned to face Logan, but Logan’s expression didn’t seem to be what orb-Deceit was expecting. Logan didn’t seem mad, or upset, or ready to grab a bat and hit the stupid flying orb out of the next window (oops, that was Virgil). His glasses were slightly angled and his brows were bunched together.

“What?” orb-Deceit asked, his tone slightly annoyed (a fact that delighted Virgil) and he bounced side to side.

“Don’t you work on self-preservation?”

Orb-Deceit squinted his eyes, “Yes? I don’t see how that’s relevant.”

“Thomas has a play today.”

“Does he, now? Again, why should I care?”

“He can’t act if he can’t lie. He won’t be paid.”

Orb-Deceit stopped his irritated bouncing. He hovered silently in the air for a beat.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, _oh._ ” Roman piped up, looking ready to play pinball with Deceit’s head.

Virgil snorted, “Did you not, I don’t know, look at a calendar before you planned this ‘master scheme’ of yours?”

Orb-Deceit whipped around and Virgil swore that he was blushing, “I, of course I did! I, it was just,” he spluttered out and Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Just get your body back and give your plan a raincheck.”

Orb-Deceit’s eyes looked downcast and Virgil would have felt bad except he didn’t at all, not even a little bit. Not a smidgen.

Orb-Deceit sighed. “Remus!” he called.

“ _That’s_ who you gave the key to?!” Thomas asked and shrieked when the duke appeared behind him with a ‘boo!’ Orb-Deceit ignored him and looked at Remus.

“I’ll need that key I gave you yesterday, Remus.”

Remus blinked at him. “The key.”

Orb-Deceit nodded (an action that was made by him bobbing up and down slightly).

“The one you gave me and told me to hide.”

“The very same.”

Remus stroked his chin thoughtfully and threaded his mustache through his fingers.

“Yeah I don’t have that anymore.”


	2. Lost not Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decided to post the second chapter so as to not have too much of a cliffhanger from the beginning :) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Virgil had his ears covered as he glared at the scene in front of him.

The orb, now properly introduced as Deceit but whom Virgil would continue to think of as ‘orb’, was whizzing around the room and letting out an angry, high-frequency hum.

“WHAT DO YOU _MEAN_ YOU DON’T HAVE IT?” he shrieked out at Remus who was picking his ear and flicking something out.

“You asked me to hide it.”

“YES, BUT NOW I WANT IT.”

Remus’s eyes narrowed, “Ok, well I don’t know where it is. I hid it.”

Orb-Deceit stopped and tilted up slightly (Virgil imagined him taking a breath).

“Remus,” he said, his voice suddenly dripping with saccharin, “if you hid it, but don’t know where it is that’s the same as LOSING IT!” he finished, his voice back to a frequency that maybe bats could hear. Logan stepped forwards.

“Do you remember the last place you put it?” he asked and Remus cocked his head.

“Hmm. I threw it in a hole in the imagination,” he grinned, “Ha! A hole! A-Hole! Gosh, I crack me up,” he conjured an egg and cracked it against his skull with a grin. Orb-Deceit flew with his full force into Remus’s side, managing to push him only slightly to the left.

“You threw the key in a hole in a place that is _literally_ as BIG AS YOU COULD POSSIBLY IMAGINE?!”

Remus nodded happily and Logan let out a sigh.

“Well, it’s in the imagination which means that Roman can probably find it easily,” he said and they all turned to Roman expectantly. Roman was cringing backwards with a grimace.

“Oh no,” Virgil grumbled.

“Eehhh, actually,” Roman started, “If it’s in Remus’s side of the imagination, I can’t do anything,” he seemed to wilt, “sorry.”

Patton shook his head vigorously and put a hand on his shoulder, “Now, there’s nothing to apologize for. You and I can stay with Thomas and see if we can work something out. In the meantime, Logan and Virgil can go with orb-I mean Deceit- and retrieve his real body.”

Now everyone turned to stare at Patton. No one said anything for a minute and it was Logan who broke the silence.

“Um, not that I don’t agree that we must do something and quickly, but why should Virgil and I go?” he asked, “And shouldn’t Remus come with us?”

Remus bounced happily, “Actually, I’m not sure I would do you any good. Whenever I enter the imagination, it shifts all around me! Like a liposuction! Everything gets thrown everywhere, it’s rather nauseating and quite fun!”

Patton nodded at Remus and seemed to be pushing down bile, “That’s um. That’s right. Well…well put,” he turned to face Logan, “as for you two, it makes sense for Roman to stay here to help Thomas with acting and I can help him try to figure out ways around this ‘no lie’ business which leaves you two to search with Deceit!”

“Goody,” Orb-Deceit said, rolling his eyes (which was a strange and almost entrancing motion in his current state). Virgil glared at him.

“It’s not like we’re dying to spend time with you either.” Virgil sneered. Orb-Deceit turned to him and scrunched his eyes and, even though he didn’t have a mouth, Virgil knew he was sticking his tongue out at him. Virgil raised his hand to fling him across the room again and Orb-Deceit whizzed back to Patton’s side, hovering just out of grabbing reach.

“Try and get along, you two!” Patton said with a sigh. Virgil felt a little guilty, he looked tired. Virgil gave him a small nod.

Remus grabbed Virgil’s and Logan’s hands in delight.

“Well come on then! I can drop you off at where I think the closest place is, but after that I’m out like gout!”

Logan frowned, “But gout doesn’t come out.”

“Well there’s no need to shout”

“Would you two please cut it ou-” Virgil closed his eyes and huffed, “Stop.”

Orb-Deceit flew back to them, somehow hovering angrily (how many emotions could a freaking circle with ovals express??). Virgil shuddered.

“Let’s just get this over with.”


	3. A Sticky Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio start their search-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand I am once again reminded of why I love this fandom so much ;-;  
> Thank you for all your kind comments and kudos! Seriously, when I say they inspire me I mean it; all the support I got on my last fic inspired me to write this one! Hope you enjoy this chapter!!

Virgil did not like the Imagination. 

Now, that makes him sound very doom-and-gloom, and to some capacity that’s what he was. But it was more than just a persona. In the Imagination, anything could happen. _Anything_. And _anything_ was not always a _good_ thing.

When Roman did occasionally pull them into the Imagination for an ‘adventure’, Virgil tried his best to go along with it. The scenery did lean towards the more beautiful side and Virgil could find some sense of peace in it.

Remus’s side was not like that.

When Remus said that he’d ‘drop off’ the unlikely trio, Virgil did not think he meant literally. But of course that’s what had happened. Virgil, Logan, and orb-Deceit suddenly blinked into existence in the middle of a red-brown sky laden with storm clouds and plummeted down towards the ground, landing in a ball of something blue and sticky.

“Blech,” Virgil said and lifted his hand up to unstick himself, “what is this stuff?”

Logan rolled himself off the ball and helped Virgil out. Orb-Deceit struggled a bit and managed to free himself.

“It seems like some mixture of glucose and latex sap from a sapodilla tree.”

Orb-Deceit buzzed, “It’s gum, dictionary breath.” Logan narrowed his eyes and rubbed his hand on a nearby tree to dislodge the gunk. Virgil gagged and orb-Deceit shot him a look.

“Don’t tell me you’re losing your _gum_ -ption, Virgil,” he said and danced around Virgil’s head. Virgil reached out and flung him back into the ball of chewed gum and orb-Deceit landed with an ‘oof.’

“Do _not_ imitate Patton,” Virgil said with a hiss. Orb-Deceit blinked a few times, tried to dislodge himself, failed, and glared back at Virgil. Logan, who was almost completely clean at this point, grabbed him and pulled him out. He turned to Virgil.

“I know how you feel, Virgil, but we need him. He’s the only one besides Remus who knows what the key looks like. And he can only get us out of this side of the Imagination in his true form.”

“And I can like puns too,” orb-Deceit mumbled and shook himself out of Logan’s grasp.

Virgil shrugged and they began walking (well, floating for Deceit). They were in some sort of forest that had brilliantly colored vines hanging from each of the branches which were, upon closer inspection, ropes of chewed up gum. Virgil bent back a branch to move forwards, but let go too soon and he got a face full of the branch, and its accompanying vines.

“I hate this place,” he grumbled while rubbing his face clean, “and I don’t see any holes anywhere.”

Logan nodded, “I agree that there is quite a large area to search. Why don’t we try and get to higher ground?” he asked and gestured towards an incline. Virgil groaned. Exercise. Virgil continued to grumble as they walked upwards.

Orb-Deceit buzzed, “That moaning and groaning of yours is _definitely not_ getting annoying.”

Virgil tried to swat at him and missed.

“Easy for you to say! You can float!” Virgil let out another huff, wondering why Logan didn’t look like he had broken a sweat. Virgil paused and took in orb-Deceit’s strange form for a moment, “why do you look like that anyways?” he asked.

Orb Deceit groaned, and swung out of the way of a gum branch “I didn’t _chose_ to look like this, Virgil. This is just the form I happened to take after I locked my real body away,” he looked downwards and let out a whine, “my poor, beautiful, perfect body. Tragically locked away. Cold and alone.”

Virgil stared for a moment and then let out a laugh, he couldn’t help it. Usually, if he were next to Deceit, he would be wound up tighter than an over cranked watch. But with him looking like this, it was easy to let his guard down a little. Even Logan let out a chuckle and orb-Deceit stopped and looked at them in surprise, his oval eyes turning a little rounder.

Virgil’s guard was instantly back up, “What?” he asked and hunched his shoulders at the staring.

“Nothing,” said orb-Deceit, “I just haven’t seen you laugh before.”

Logan pushed his glasses up his nose, “Virgil laughs quite often, actually,” he said, his tone slightly confused.

“Oh.”

They continued in an uncomfortable silence, orb-Deceit now hovering closer to the ground. The trees around them had started growing closer together and the gum wove itself through the branches, creating large barriers in some places. The gum colors were also getting darker, going from the bright blues and pinks to dark cinnamon red and licorice black. There was an foreboding creaking noise coming from all around them.

Virgil shivered, a creeping feeling went down his back.

“Guys, I think we should-” he started, but jumped at a loud _CRACK_.

“What was that?” yelled orb-Deceit, who flew behind Logan and was peeking over his shoulder.

Logan stopped and held out an arm, “I- I’m not sure, it sounded like-,”

Another loud crack rang out, this time sounding like it was just in front of them. Virgil’s eyes widened. From a distance, he could see a ball rolling towards them. But that ball was quickly getting bigger and bigger and-

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!” Virgil half-yelled, half-shrieked, and grabbed Logan’s arm. He pulled him and started running in the other direction.

“Virg-Virgil? What’s going on?!”

“Look back, but don’t slow down! What do you see?!”

Logan looked behind him and paled. A gumball the size of a house was barreling towards them at a ridiculous speed. They couldn’t jump to the side because of the gum barriers and they couldn’t get behind it because it was coming way too fast. Orb-Deceit was flying with them, but could only barely keep up.

“We’re going to die! We’re all going to die!” he wailed and Virgil plucked him out of the air, letting go of Logan who could now run on his own.

“Shut up and help! You’ve been here more than either of us, how do we get out of this?!” Virgil had noticed that he was running much faster than Logan (where was this athleticism twenty minutes ago?) and slowed down against his screaming instincts.

“Ah-um, I don’t know! I-” orb-Deceit started and suddenly lit up, “Wait! There should be a clearing up ahead! When I tell you to, jump to your right!”

Virgil’s mind was telling him that there was no way he could trust Deceit, but it was also telling him that he didn’t have much of an option.

“NOW!” orb-Deceit yelled and Virgil grabbed Logan again and body-slammed them to the side. They crashed down the side of the hill and tumbled over each other. Virgil felt leaves and (ugh) gum stick into his clothes and hair and they finally came to a stop in a small clearing.

Virgil looked out. The clearing was a field of orange grass with strange patches of piled leaves. Just beyond it, he could make out the shape of a mountain that had a giant sock on it. Soup was flowing out of it in a stream and fell down a cliff as a waterfall. It splashed to the surface where steaming geysers shot up from the ground.

Virgil shook his head and helped Logan, whose glasses had somehow managed to stay on during the fall, to his feet. When Virgil stopped shaking, he grabbed orb-Deceit and shook him instead.

“DO YOU REALIZE HOW CLOSE WE WERE TO DYING?!” Virgil yelled and orb-Deceit tried to wriggle out of his grip.

“I got us out of it didn’t I?” he yelled back. Virgil shook his head and walked forward, Logan trailing behind him.

“You’re the one who got us into it! We wouldn’t be here in the first place if it weren’t for-”

But Virgil didn’t get to finish his sentence. While walking forwards, the three of them had stepped on a pile of leaves which began to creak ominously.

“Um, Virgil?” orb-Deceit squeaked and a series of cracks from below them made Virgil squeeze his eyes shut.

“Oh come _O-”_

The leaves around them gave away and the three of them fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for the next chapter: 
> 
> If Roman heard one more bird fact, he might throw up


	4. Lying but not Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How are Patton and Roman faring with Thomas? And what is Patton hiding-?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you're enjoying the story so far!  
> Thank you for all the support! Your comments and kudos make my heart cry out in joy (Patton, cry out to them). Hope you like the chapter :)

If Roman heard one more bird fact, he might throw up.

Remus had poofed away Virgil, Logan, and the very-satisfying-to-hit sphere and now he and Patton were trying to get Thomas ready for his show. The play started at 5 pm, so they definitely had time. Or so Roman had thought, but it was already noon and Thomas was no closer to finishing his line and was now sulking in his chair.

“This won’t work!” he groaned, or at least that’s what Roman assumed he said. It was hard to hear since he had a burrito stuffed into his mouth.

“Chew your food, Thomas,” Patton chided gently and Thomas made an exaggerated chewing motion and swallowed.

“I can’t say my lines Pat! What kind of actor can’t say their lines?!” he moaned and took another giant bite of his food.

“This is so unfair,” Roman wailed and Thomas nodded with him, “is acting technically not telling the truth? I mean, sure! But, everyone knows that! It’s a suspension of disbelief, it’s not technically _lying_. Maybe try a different lie. You just ate, Thomas, say you’re hungry.”

“I’m hungry.” Thomas said with no problem and Roman perked up.

“Wha- you did it! You told a lie!” he said, but Thomas shook his head sadly.

“But it wasn’t a lie.”

“You just ate!”

“That’s my secret,” Thomas said, voice suddenly deep, “I’m always hungry.”

Roman rolled his eyes, “Calm down there, Incredible Bulk, try a different lie then.”

Thomas tried, but sighed, “I can’t. And I can’t say my lines without lying,” Thomas sighed, “Deceit was right.”

Roman heard a small squeak from the corner and he raised an eyebrow at its source. Patton was shifting from side to side and his shoulders were tensed up like he had eaten something sour.

“Padre? Everything ok over there?” Roman asked and Patton turned in surprise.

“I, yes, well…” he trailed off for a moment before letting his shoulders fall and looking at Thomas, “Actually, there is a way for you say your lines without technically lying.”

Thomas jumped up and Roman whipped around.

“That’s great!” Roman exclaimed at the same time that Thomas squealed happily. However, Patton was still looking like he had eaten an entire lemon.

“Patton?” Thomas asked and Patton opened his eyes. He sighed.

“There _is_ a way to lie without lying,” Patton started and both Roman and Thomas blinked at him, “Now Thomas, I’m telling you this only because it applies to this situation, but it is still technically wrong even though it may not actually be lying.”

Roman and Thomas continued to stare at him, as if he were holding the secrets to the universe. Patton huffed out a breath.

“Thomas, try to say that you’re not hungry.”

Thomas cocked his head to the side for a moment before opening his mouth. He shook, his face going red before he just shook his head sadly.

“Now,” Patton said, still cringing slightly, “think of a time that you were really, and truly hungry, a time when all you could think of was food.”

Thomas put a hand to his chin, “That one time I skipped lunch and went on a hike?”

Patton nodded his head, “Now, compared to that time, would you say that you’re hungry?”

Thomas shook his head. “No, I’m not hungry.” His eyes widened, “He-hey! I did it! I’m not hungry!” He pumped his fists triumphantly and Patton grimaced.

Roman shook his head, “It’s technically not a lie,” he said mystified, “Patton, how did you know how to do that?”

Patton’s shoulders sagged, he suddenly looked very tired and he rubbed at his eyes.

“I’m Morality, kiddo. I know all the good, and the bad, that Thomas is capable of.”

Patton picked at the seams of his cardigan and Roman stared at him. He knew that they had talked about Patton hiding his emotions before, but with his statement, Patton suddenly seemed very old. Roman wondered what else Patton hadn’t told them, but decided that it was probably for the best that he didn’t know. Thomas watched them for a moment before turning to Patton again.

“Ok, so how do I do that with this line? How do I tell people I see sparrows when I don’t actually see any?”

Roman put a finger to his chin, the gears turning with the new ability that had been revealed to him. “Well, what if you imagine sparrows flying in your mind’s eye? Technically, you can see them in your head.”

Thomas shut his eyes for a moment, “Hark! I, I see-the sparrows… in my head,” he finished.

Roman sighed, “We’ll work on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for the next chapter: Virgil groaned and rubbed his head.


	5. Sling to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil takes stock-  
> Notes: broken bones, mentions of anxiety attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Just the author again saying thank you for reading! Your support means the world :)  
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Virgil groaned and rubbed his head. Something was continuously bumping his shoulder and he shoved at it with an irritated whine.

“You’re up!” said the thing that was white and circular in shape.

Virgil blinked and the events of the day caught up to him

Deceit. Orb. Orb Deceit. Thomas. Lying. Gum. Hole.

Maybe he could just pass out again.

But orb-Deceit was dancing around him and letting out a hum that made it difficult to sleep. Virgil scrubbed his face and looked up.

He was in a hole, maybe about 20 feet from the surface. Of _course_ it hadn’t been an ordinary clearing that they jumped into. There was no such thing as _ordinary_ in this part of the imagination. Of-freaking-course it was a clearing laden with pitfalls. Virgil looked around, there were small sticks coming out of the walls of the hole, they glowed a luminescent neon green. Virgil squinted his eyes at them; they looked like rave glow sticks.

Virgil got up, swayed, and steadied himself against the dirt wall. Orb-Deceit was staring at him.

“What?” Virgil growled out and orb-Deceit flew around him in another irritating circle.

“Are you ok?” he asked, stopping in front of Virgil’s face.

Virgil looked at him. Aside from the ache in his bones and the overwhelming desire to crawl into bed, Virgil _was_ ok. He just didn’t know why Deceit of all people was asking him. Virgil grunted something that sounded like an affirmation and then suddenly straightened.

“Where’s Logan?” he asked and orb-Deceit angled himself up a bit and went back down. Was that a shrug?

 _Shit_. Virgil looked around. There was dirt everywhere, but the hole wasn’t too big, maybe 15 feet in diameter. Though there was no key in sight, he saw a suspiciously large lump near the far corner and ran to it.

“Logan!” he yelled and dusted him off. The logical side groaned and Virgil’s heart skipped with relief.

“Virgil?” he slurred.

“Yeah, Logan, it’s me. You ok?”

Logan nodded and began to sit up.

And then promptly fell back down.

“Ow,” he said simply, though it didn’t sound like he really registered anything. He lifted his arm up and Virgil gasped.

It was bent at a horrifying angle. Normally, in Roman’s side of the imagination, injuries were limited to scrapes and bruises unless the Prince had something planned. But this wasn’t Roman’s side of the imagination and Virgil was almost sure that if Logan moved anymore, he would be able to see bone.

Logan poked at his arm, “Ow,” he said again and Virgil snatched his free hand away.

“How-uh- how about we don’t poke at your broken arm ok?” he said and gently set Logan’s arm back down. Logan smiled brightly.

“Works for me, worker bee!” he said and booped Virgil’s nose happily. Virgil’s brain was stuttering at the display. Logan’s face suddenly went dead serious and he grabbed Virgil’s hoodie-sleeve with urgency.

“Virgil!” he exclaimed.

“Wh-what?”

“The bees!” Logan yelled and then whispered, “The bees are all dying!” he turned to him and Virgil swore there were tears in his eyes, “The bees!”

Finally, Virgil’s brain supplied to him that Logan was probably delirious with pain. Virgil nodded and patted Logan awkwardly.

“The, ah, the bees will be fine, bud. How about you let me see that arm of yours, yeah?”

Logan nodded and Virgil grimaced at the site of the quickly deepening bruise.

“Where are we, Virgil?” he asked, although it came out more like “Wh-a-vee-Virr-uh?”

“A hole,” Virgil stated simply and Logan nodded despite the lack of description.

“A hole. A hole, ah, A-Hole! I get it now, ha, A-hole. Quite humorous. Ooh, Humerus!” he exclaimed and pointed to his arm, “Where’s Patton?”

Virgil was trying really hard not to lose it and informed Logan that Patton was not here right now but yes he would be very proud of his joke.

Orb-Deceit was now hovering next to them, inspecting Logan’s arm. Logan looked at him with a wide eyed expression.

“The bees!” he said in wonder and tried to grab at orb-Deceit who bounced out of the way.

Orb-Deceit looked at Virgil. “So Logan’s out. I say we leave him here.”

Virgil batted him away, “Quiet you.”

He had watched a few survivor shows with Roman and some doctor shows with Logan, so he knew that he had to immobilize his arm. Of course, he had no idea how to do that. Virgil peeled Logan’s hand off of his hoodie and shrugged it off, shivering at the air hitting his now exposed forearms and fashioning it into something that looked like it could maybe resemble a sling. Logan had gone quiet while Virgil tried to put his arm through it and Virgil looked at him when he finished.

Logan had stopped muttering about bees and was blinking at nothing. Virgil tried to quell his rising panic and put a hand on Logan’s face.

“Logan? You here bud?”

Logan blinked, “Where elsh wo-I-be?” he asked, slurring getting worse when he abruptly pitched to the side. Orb-Deceit had gone under him, preventing him from falling, and Virgil laid him back down on the ground. Virgil then walked to the dirt wall and began banging his head against it.

“Virgil?” orb-Deceit asked, but Virgil ignored him.

_They were stuck in a 20 foot hole in the ground._

Bang!

_There didn’t seem to be a way out._

Bang!

_No key_

Bang!

_Logan was injured._

Bang!

_And the only other person he was stuck with was freaking Deceit._

Virgil tried to hit his head against the wall again, but orb-Deceit had moved in front of him and was pushing against his chest, eyes closed in the effort. Virgil flicked him away angrily and orb-Deceit buzzed. If Virgil didn’t know him, he would describe it as concerned.

“Virgil, breathe. Everything’s going to be ok, there’s no need to panic.”

If orb-Deceit had a neck, Virgil would have strangled him.

“No need to- of course there’s need to panic! Have you seen the situation we’re in?!”

“Breathe Virgil,” orb-Deceit said and Virgil wanted to hurl him across the space and watch him ricochet off the walls.

“I AM breathing! Don’t just assume I’m going to have an anxiety attack every time a situation gets stressful!”

Orb-Deceit reeled back for a moment before narrowing his eyes.

“Oh. _Oh_. You want to talk about assumptions? Let’s talk about assumptions!” He whirred angrily around the hole, careful not to bump into the sleeping Logan. He stopped and faced Virgil.

“You all _assume_ I’m a bad guy just because what?”

Virgil groaned, they didn’t have time for this, but orb-Deceit kept going.

“Some vague notion that lying is supposed to be wrong? You once said that you only ever aimed to protect Thomas, well NEWSFLASH” orb-Deceit yelled, “So do I!”

Suddenly, it seemed as if all the energy whooshed out of him and he hovered only a few centimeters off the ground. “Thomas is the one who villainized me. I’m not a bad guy,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, “I’m not.”

Virgil stared at the orb. The light bounced off of his surface and made him look pastel-green. He wasn’t really sure what to say. This was, after all, Deceit. Master of lies and all that.

The Master of lies let out a sniffle and Virgil felt his guard crumble against his better instincts. He put a hand on orb-Deceit.

“Ok,” he said simply.

“Ok?” orb-Deceit repeated and Virgil let the words tumble out before he changed his mind.

“Ok, I might be able to accept that you’re not all that bad. If anyone knows about putting up a dark persona to get people to listen, it’s me. So if you can get us out of this, then maybe, _maybe_ , I’ll consider what you said.”

Orb-Deceit sniffed and even Virgil had to admit that it was kind of adorable.

“Really?” he asked and Virgil definitely did not feel his heart tug a little bit. He nodded and orb-Deceit buzzed around him happily before realizing what he was doing and stopping. Orb-Deceit cleared his throat and Virgil could tell that he was blushing again.

“Ahem. Right. A way out,” he said.

“I mean, you can float right? Can’t you float out of here?”

Orb-Deceit hummed and shot up, making it about ten feet before floating sadly back to the ground. Virgil sighed, “Yeah. I figured it wouldn’t be that easy.”

Orb-Deceit looked so dejected that Virgil almost felt sorry for him again.

“Hey, it’s ok we can-”

But for maybe the third time that day, Virgil was interrupted. Overhead, a large shadow passed by, making the glow of the hole even more severe. A loud _CAW_ rang out.

“The bees,” Logan whispered before passing out again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for the next chapter: Roman was not happy.


	6. Hark!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We check back in on Thomas-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello hello!  
> Hope you all are staying safe in quarantine~  
> Thank you for reading and for all your lovely comments and kudos <3 ! I know that this is a shorter chapter, but I hope you enjoy!

Roman was not happy.

There were maybe 3 hours until the start of the play which meant that Thomas had two hours to figure out what to do before he needed to start getting ready and head out. They had been making some progress with his lines, but it was not going very smoothly.

“Hark! I _imagine_ the sparrows flying over-”

“Hark! I see the sparrows, except I don’t really-”

“Hark! I see the… eagles? Dammit, wrong bird!”

Thomas was really trying. Patton had told him that he needed to imagine the sparrows vividly in his mind’s eye in order for the ‘lying but not really’ trick to work. The problem was that this focus took away from his acting. Whenever he would get the line right, (Hark, I see the sparrows flying overhead!) he would light up and forget that he needed to be slightly ominous in his role. It was even more of a disaster for his next line. Roman mouthed, “The sparrows are going to warn the fiddler”, but all Thomas could come up with was-

“The sparrows are going to, to fly to lower elevations in the winter-no”

“I’m imagining the sparrows are going to warn the fiddler, no, shoot!”

“The sparrows can be distinguished as male or female based on feather coloration- UGH”

Another hour passed and Thomas threw his head in his hands. Patton patted him.

“I know this is going to sound bad,” he started, “but I’m a little relieved that this isn’t working.” Roman whirled on him in surprise and Patton but his hands up in a placating gesture.

“I just mean that, this whole ‘lying but not really’ thing is so manipulative that even _Deceit_ doesn’t like to employ it,” he said and Thomas raised an eyebrow at Patton and asked how he knew that.

“Think about it, Deceit knows about this technique, but he never told you about it. He could have convinced you that you’re technically telling truth so it’s not _wrong_ , but he didn’t.”

“Huh,” Thomas said and put a hand to his chin in thought. 

Roman scratched at the back of his head. There was only two hours until show time and he was starting to get more and more antsy.

“We can practice for a little while longer, Thomas, but I think that you should get ready soon.”

Thomas looked up in surprise, “But my lines-”

“Are going to have to depend on how Virgil and Logan fare on their quest,” Roman finished and took in Thomas’s concerned expression, “Worry not, Thomas! Though they’re not me, they’re still worthy heroes in their own way! Just trust in the brave, strong, quick-thinking Logan and Virgil!” he finished and pumped his hands in the air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Preview for the next chapter: Virgil was screaming.


	7. I See the Sparrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the boys in the hole-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I swear, writing may be the only thing that's keeping me sane during the quarantine. Thank you for reading and for all your comments and kudos! The human interaction makes me feel like a person again :) (bonus points if you got the reference lol)
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Virgil was screaming.

He was done. _So_ done with this. Falling out of the sky? Fine. Gumballs coming at them like they were in a bad knock-off of Indiana Jones? He could handle it. Even nearly falling to their deaths and handling a borderline crazy Logan? Whatever, just another Saturday.

But this? This was where Virgil drew the line.

Above them, what looked like _hundreds_ of giant, boat-sized sparrows were filling the skies, cawing loudly and making a noise that sounded like “fiddler-fiddler”

Why couldn’t anything in this place be normal sized?

The birds seemed to have a large interest in the glowing hole in the ground and they stuck their giant beaks in, trying to get at Virgil and Logan. Their beaks only reached in about half way and orb-Deceit flung himself angrily at them.

“Away! Away! Ugh, I hate birds!” he whined and Virgil could only nod in agreement. Logan had woken up again and, now that the initial delirium had faded, was clutching his arm in agony. He had his head buried in Virgil’s shoulder and Virgil was patting him, though that didn’t seem to be doing much.

 _CAW!_ Screamed a bird.

“SHUT UP!” orb-Deceit screamed back as he banged against its beak. The bird shook its giant beak and pulled out of the hole, flying away angrily. But just as soon as it left, another one took its place.

“Ugh, there’s no end to this!” Virgil yelled and watched orb-Deceit shoo away another sparrow. Orb-Deceit flew down to Virgil and shook himself.

“I keep shooing them away, but more keep coming!” he yelled and flinched back when another bird stuck its beak down into the pit. Orb-Deceit started to fly up again, but then stopped.

“Wait!” he exclaimed and circled Virgil and Logan in excitement. Virgil put a hand out to stop him.

“What? What is it?”

Orb-Deceit shook again and looked up at Virgil, “This may be our way out!”

Virgil stared at him and then looked up at the gnawing, thrashing beak of the bird above them.

“Absolutely not,” he said and orb-Deceit pushed against him angrily.

“C’mon! I can float you two up, the bird will take us in its beak, and then fly out!”

“Or it’ll eat us!”

Orb-Deceit rolled his eyes, “It won’t eat us! I’ll bounce around in its mouth and get it to let us go. This could be our only chance!”

Orb-Deceit’s eyes were wide and hopeful. Virgil sighed and distantly wondered when he had gone so soft. He nudged at Logan.

“Logan, do you think you can get up?”

Logan let out a sound that was a cross between a groan and a whine, but nodded. Virgil helped him to his feet, but he immediately buckled and Virgil grabbed him. He looped his good arm around his shoulders and grabbed his waist. He put his free hand on top of orb-Deceit and nodded at him. Orb-Deceit nodded back (well, as much as he could) and strained upwards, the weight of the two of them causing him to bulk.

“C’mon! You can do it!” Virgil yelled. Logan had gone quiet again and Virgil hoped he hadn’t passed out.

Orb-Deceit wobbled for a few moments before Virgil felt himself being lifted up and oh _man_ being lifted by one hand while carrying Logan in the other was _not_ a pleasant experience. Virgil made a mental note to go the gym more often.

Orb-Deceit pulled them upwards, but it was painstakingly slow. Virgil glanced at the walls and noticed that there were more glow-in-the-dark items stuck inside of them. Some of them made him blush and he turned his attention back towards the bird beak they were heading towards.

The bird let out a loud _CAW!_ And with a burst of strength, orb-Deceit flew into its mouth.

The bird gagged and reared its head back, bringing Virgil, Logan, and orb-Deceit along with it. It shook and the three of them tumbled around in its mouth.

“Ack!” Virgil grunted as he slammed against the wall of hard keratin. The bird opened its beak and flung its head up again and Virgil, along with his two carry-ons (i.e. Logan and orb-Deceit), went flying. Virgil felt himself spin in an arc and he reached a hand out and raked along the surface of the bird’s back. His hands grabbed a fist full of feathers by its leg and he pulled himself up, making another mental note that the gym idea was one that he had to get on soon.

When he finally was able to situate the almost green Logan safely on the bird’s back (orb-Deceit ducked out of the way as he, er, relieved his stomach contents), Virgil allowed himself to take a steadying breath.

In front of them, the sock-soup-waterfall structure grew nearer. Large pasta pieces in the shapes of letters floated on the surface. Logan was tugging on his pant leg.

“Vir-Virgil, the key, the key!” he said and Virgil instantly snapped to attention.

“You see the key?” Virgil asked and straightened Logan into a sitting position.

“A hole! It’s in A hole!”

Virgil frowned, “I know that Logan. We have to find which hole.”

Logan shook his head in frustration and pointed his good arm in the direction of the soup fall.

“Not _a_ hole, _A_ hole!”

Virgil squinted at the soup. Alphabet soup. He groaned internally when he saw what Logan was pointing at.

A shiny brass key was floating inside a piece of pasta shaped like the letter ‘A’. Inside the hole of the A.

Virgil was going to kill Remus.

Virgil asked orb-Deceit if that was, in fact, the key and orb-Deceit nodded and buzzed happily. Virgil looked down, the target pasta piece was floating in the river just before the falls, how were they going to get there?

Logan was watching Virgil’s face carefully and nodded, as if reading his mind.

“We have to jump.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No preview this time, but I was thinking of doing a small mood board for orb-Deceit ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯! What emotions would you guys want to see on it?


	8. Flying Overhead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trio try and complete mission...impastable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellllooo!  
> Thank you everyone for encouraging my punning, I'm glad you enjoy it as much as I do 😂. And of course, as always, thank you so much for reading and leaving comments/ kudos!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter!

There were a lot of things Virgil was afraid of. Rejection. Failure. Tom Nook (he was a stressful raccoon, ok?).

Virgil wasn’t afraid of heights, but after today he was going to add that to the list.

It was Logan who suggested jumping, but his face was pale. Which made sense, he was still clutching his arm and was occasionally letting out involuntary whimpers. The sock cave was fast approaching though. If they were going to jump, it had to be soon.

“Do you have any ideas on how to keep us alive?” orb-Deceit asked, turning to Logan. Logan regarded him.

“You’re asking me?”

Orb-Deceit shifted uncomfortably, “I mean, it’s not like _you’re_ the smart one or anything.”

Logan’s eyebrows shot up at the hidden compliment, but his face quickly settled into deep thought. He looked down at the bird they were on.

“These feathers are rather large, perhaps we can pluck one and hold it at the ends, like some kind of parachute? It would need to be one of its flight feathers though because bird down or filoplume feathers don’t have the interlocking hamuli necessary for-” Logan stopped and glanced at the other two who were giving him blank stares. 

“Ahem. We need a wing feather,” he clarified with a blush and Virgil and orb-Deceit both nodded in renewed comprehension. Virgil glanced at the large wings on either side of them. The giant sparrow had mostly calmed down, but Virgil didn’t want to think about what it would do if he plucked out a feather. Logan couldn’t do the plucking so he would have to grab the other side quickly with his good hand.

Virgil sank down and glanced at the soup-fall. It was nearly underfoot.

“On three,” he said and orb-Deceit flew into the crook of his elbow. Logan nodded.

“One... two...,”

The falls were getting closer, Virgil could hear the rush of the soup. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“THREE!”

Virgil yanked upwards with all his strength. The bird squawked angrily and tilted to the side. Logan managed to grab the free side of the feather before all three of them were pitched off of the beast. They didn’t fall gently. The feather only did so much to halt the speed of the free fall and they crashed mercilessly into the soup below. Logan spluttered and grabbed a piece of pasta in the shape of a ‘Q’ as a raft and Virgil swam towards him.

Virgil could see the key. It was just out of arm’s reach, but then so was the edge of the fall. Virgil was getting fed up, how many near death experiences could one day possibly hold?

From what he saw at a birds-eye-view (haha), no feather or stroke of luck would be enough to let them survive the height of the falls.

Orb-Deceit popped up from under Virgil’s arm and shook himself free of soup particles.

“We just need to grab the key! Then, I’ll turn into my true self and we can get out of here!” he yelled, though it was hard to hear him over the roar of the falls.

“Don’t you need to go to where your body is locked up?” Logan asked, Virgil noticed that he had gone green again. Orb-Deceit shook again.

“The key _is_ where my body is! I just need to touch it!”

Virgil took a deep breath in and tried not to think about how the soup fumes were messing with his brain. Orb-Deceit was bobbing helplessly in the stream, quickly sinking whenever he was not on top of the pasta raft. Logan obviously couldn’t swim in his condition which left Virgil to let go and swim, likely towards his death.

Virgil let out the breath. The ‘A’ pasta was approaching the edge of the cliff at a rapid pace. It was now or never. Virgil shoved orb-Deceit into the hole of the ‘Q’ and ducked below the surface, using his arms to carry him forwards. With a mighty kick, he propelled himself in the direction of the key and grabbed it.

Right before both he and it were carried neared the very edge

“VIRGIL!” he heard both Logan and orb-Deceit scream and Virgil steeled himself. He arced himself up and threw the key, hitting orb-Deceit square in the eye.

And then he fell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out the orb-Deceit mood board! -->
> 
> https://quarantinevibes2020.tumblr.com/post/616744502944743424/orb-deceits-mood-board-from-the-ao3-fic-the


	9. Knick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas's play starts-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, second to last chapter! I had a lot of fun writing this story so thank you so much for reading/commenting/kudoing/being wonderful! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter :)

Roman drummed his fingers impatiently.

They were in the theatre with five minutes until Thomas’s first scene. The first part of rehearsal had been a disaster with Thomas spouting bird facts and his friends giving him kind, but very concerned, looks.

Roman put his head in his hands. This was it. He was ruined as an actor. Maybe he should take up a different noble venture. Perhaps knitting.

Patton had a mask of calm on his face, but his rapidly tapping foot gave away his nervousness. Roman glanced at him. Despite the constant tapping, Patton seemed…tired. Roman put a hand on his shoulder and nudged Patton’s leg. He looked up in surprise and Roman noted that there was a slight purple tinge under Patton’s eyes.

“You good there, Padre?” he asked. Patton’s eyes widened for a moment before he rapidly nodded his head with a smile. The nodding was too fast and the smile was too wide. Roman’s eyes narrowed and he kept his laser-focus stare trained on Patton until the other side began to squirm.

“I, really kiddo, I’m ok,” Patton said and Roman raised an eyebrow. He pointed to Patton’s obvious eye bags.

“Last time I checked, you weren’t really into the make-up scene, Pat,” Roman said. Patton straightened in surprise and touched his eyes.

“Whaaat, haven’t you seen my Halloween costume? I rock at make-up and I’m not making that up!” he joked, but Roman’s gaze didn’t falter and Patton seemed to be searching frantically for another joke before letting his shoulders fall and sighing softly. He smiled again, this time a smaller, but more genuine one.

“I’m ok Roman. Really,” Roman was about to interject with a _no you’re obviously not_ , but Patton kept going, “It’s just, some of this morally grey stuff takes a lot out of me, you know?”

Roman didn’t know. He felt a small stab of guilt go through him, how many other times had he overlooked Patton’s feelings? He shook his head and waved his hand. An oak chair with buttoned cushions and cotton-lined armrests appeared next to him. He gestured at it to Patton. Patton blinked at it in confusion for a moment before realizing what it was for.

“Oh, Roman! You didn’t have to-” he said, but Roman only nodded at the chair again and Patton smiled and sunk into in gratefully. Roman winced a bit, the way Patton all but fell into the chair made his fatigue much more obvious. He wished he had realized it sooner and was about to conjure maybe a few hundred blankets for him when a hush fell over the audience and Thomas’s scene began.

Thomas appeared on stage and Roman and Patton watched with bated breath. Thomas put his foot forward and took a deep breath in. He put his hands on his hips and opened his mouth.

“Hark!” he started and Roman leaned in, vibrating with nervous energy.

Would Thomas be able to say his line? Had they practiced enough? Did they do enough? Roman braced himself when suddenly, a loud _POP_ boomed around the mind palace. Roman spun around and nearly fell when he saw Logan, Virgil, and Deceit, actual Deceit, in a heap in the middle of the room. They were drenched in some kind of orange liquid and Roman noted that it smelt strangely of tomato and basil.

Deceit grinned, “I see the sparrows flying overhead,” he finished.


	10. The Pho-nale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is back together-

With Deceit back in his true form, Thomas continued his performance at his normal, professional level (though he did squeak a bit in surprise when he was able to get his first line out). The sides got Thomas caught up in intermission and he was able to complete it properly. Afterwards, Virgil collapsed on a couch cushion and eyed the scene in front of him warily.

After making sure that Thomas’s performance was ok, Roman began asking nonstop questions about what had happened- why do you all smell like soup? Is that gum in your hair? Holy cannoli, what is wrong with Logan’s arm?!

At that, Remus popped back in and grabbed the injured appendage. Logan screamed, but Deceit put a hand on his shoulder which, if it had been any other day, probably wouldn’t have calmed Logan down. But when Logan stopped screaming, he noticed that Remus was actually setting his arm, much better than Virgil’s embarrassing attempt.

“How do you know how to do that?” Logan asked, too curious to be wary. Remus smiled broadly at that and tossed Virgil’s dirty hoodie to the side. Patton gathered it up and poofed it away somewhere, probably to get washed.

“Oh, I know all about medical procedures! After all it is _gross_ anatomy!”

“But. But gross in this case means macroscop-AGH.” Logan was cut off when Remus abruptly set his arm in the cast. Logan swayed and steadied, eyeing Remus angrily for a moment before going back to studying his handiwork.

“Fascinating,” he mumbled and Virgil was reminded of his delirious state in the pit. Man, looking back on it now, Virgil wished he had recorded some of that. It was prime blackmail material.

“Well it sounds like you three went on a grand adventure,” Roman huffed, and Virgil raised an eyebrow at the jealous tone. Hell, he would have switched places with Roman in a heartbeat. “But I don’t get why he’s still here!” Roman finished and pointed at Deceit, now in his true form and dry of soup. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Logan and he eyed Roman.

“Because I helped!” he said.

“You were the one who caused the problem in the first place!” Roman yelled.

“I!” Deceit started, but Virgil nudged him with his toe and gave him a pointed look. Deceit looked at the ground and took in a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Oops, what was that, I couldn’t hear you,” Virgil goaded and Deceit shoved his foot away.

“I’m sorry! I was tired of being ignored and treated like I was evil incarnate! Sure, my little scheme didn’t go exactly as planned, but do you see what I mean when I say that _lying_ isn’t always wrong and telling the ‘truth’,” he sent an eyebrow raise at Patton who wilted back, “Isn’t always good?”

Virgil looked at Patton for an explanation, but he just shook his head and mouthed ‘later.’

Roman spluttered for a bit before looking chagrined. “I. I suppose you’re right. And Remus’s side of the imagination sounded quite daring as well,” he turned to his brother, “perhaps we should adventure together sometime?”

Remus’s eyes widened, and for the first time in a while, Virgil saw genuine shock leak into his expression. The smile he gave Roman was not his usual, too-wide, kind of off putting one. It was a real one.

“I’d like that,” he said softly and Roman beamed.

“BRILLIANT!” Roman roared and Virgil moved to cover his ears.

“Gosh, sounds like you’re all _souped_ up, Roman!” Patton said and Virgil saw Deceit discretely lift a gloved hand to his mouth in an attempt to hide a smile.

“From my head to-ma-toes!” Roman replied and Virgil groaned.

“ _Please_ stop. I don’t think I can have soup or gum for another couple of months.”

“So would you say,” Deceit started, “you’re _soup-_ er over them?” he asked with a twinkle in his eye. Patton let out a surprised gasp and even Roman chuckled. Virgil threw a pillow at his head.

“You may not be an orb anymore, but I _will_ throw you across the room.”

“No need to be so _gum_ -ho about it.”

Virgil groaned and chucked another pillow at him.

“Yeah,” he said, trying to keep anger in his voice, but failing, “You fit right in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (incoming cheese, please take your Lactaid pill if your lactose intolerant)  
> Hey you! Yeah you! Thank you so much for reading this story!! I find that I filter myself a lot with my friends/ family in real life, but my stories are purely me so thank you for taking the time to read it and hopefully enjoy it! I started writing a few weeks ago, but now it's like a faucet I can't turn off-
> 
> And on that note (warning: shameless plug)- Did you read this story but think it needed more of our favorite nerd? Did you glimpse the Patton angst and instantly want more? Then check out my next fic: The Switch Fix! ;)
> 
> Either way, thank you again for reading THIS story. Your support means everything :')


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